THE BOOK!

ya add a lot more imagery but so far its really good

ok thnks...ill send u each chapter so we can add some stuff.

awesome i really want to see how this whole thing turns out

o and hey guys i know this has nothing to do with this subject but check out the protest topic i want to know what you guys think of the subject

Stories pretty good... But it's way to fast.. If you look at eragon they don't start doing adventures till like page 100..

ok ok...so heres chapter 1.... i now its to fast so help me add stuf

Chapter 1 The Beginning



The sun just began rising in Sate. The sun light drained in Nathan’s window. Nathan woke eagerly, ready for the days hunt. He jumped out of bed and grabbed his bow and quiver. They were his most prized possession. His dad gave them to him at his death bed for his 15 birthday. Nathaniel ran down the stairs, expecting someone. When he got there he smelt the crisp smell of bacon and eggs. His two brothers were there, one sitting down eating, the other cooking over the stove. Nathan smiled. His two brothers were the only ones there for him now in his family. They took care of him when his mom died when he was 4 and his dad 7months ago. Matt turned around, taking his concentration off cooking and smacked Toph on the head, pointing to Nathan.
“Well good morning sleeping beauty.” Toph said smiling.
Nathaniel laughed and sat next to him at the table.
“About time you got up Nathan. I thought all the deer would die before you would wake up.” said Matt.
“Very funny.” Nathan said.
Matt put down 3 eggs and 2 pieces’s of bacon in front of Nathan and watch him devour them.
“You ready Nat?” Matt said. Only his brothers could call him Nat.
“Ready as ever.” Nathan said.
“Well hurry up and we can get there in time.” Nathan ate his breakfast and jumped up, grabbing his bow n quiver. He nocked an arrow in and strapped on the quiver.
His brothers were less enthusiastic and slowly got up. Nathan walked outside, welcoming the fresh air.
“I got to stop by the town today. It shouldn’t take long.” Matt said, as he was walking out the door. He was the oldest out of the brothers.
“Oh come on Matt, you said that yesterday too. And that week the deer got away from us.” Toph said.
“Yes I know, but this time I must.” Matt said.
“….Ok fine, but were going to go ahead and start off. We’ll be at Gigara Falls.” Nathan said and sped off before any protest came out of his brothers. Toph waited, choosing to stay or go, and then sped off to go after Nathan. Nathan had a very good lead, but Toph eventually caught up. He was faster than Nathan by a long shot. Toph was the fastest person in Sate. He and Nathan stopped running and started walking together.
“You know, this is were dad took me and Matt to. He wanted us to enjoy the land, for it might not be the same. I never understood that. Matt pressed him for answers, but you know dad. As selfish as a dwarf standing on a pile of gold. He never told us what he meant. But Matt and I always knew there was something different about him when he ever got near the forest.” Toph said, briefly stopping to take a breath of air, then continued. “He even took mom in here when she was pregnant with you. She loved the place and took you, of course you were in her belly at the time, here whenever she could.”
Nathaniel pondered with this for the 2 hours it took to get there. Maybe that’s why I love the forest so much, he thought. Toph stopped and sat down, drinking some of the water.
“I think its time to camp.” Toph said. Nathan agreed, he feet protesting with every step he took. They dug out a small out clove.
“Nathan, go get some wood for the fire.” Toph said. Nathan walked out of the out clove and across the road they’ve been traveling on and started climbing up the trees.
Nathan was the climber off the family. He was the only person, probably in Mariesia, that could climb the Blood Stone Mountains. After an hour, he came back to camp. Toph was reading the map of Mariesia until he noticed Nathan come back. Nathan dropped the wood, Exhausted from climbing perhaps, what hey thought, every tree in Sate. He sat there, watching Toph make a fire. Toph took out the long strips of deer jerky from a hunt 2 weeks ago and started cooking them. After an hour and a half they were ready. Nathan took the first one, eagerly tearing into the meat. After he finished He and Toph set up a Targeting Dummy using the long grass near the roads. Toph went first and shot. Missed it and it hit the tree behind it, leaving a mark.
“If you keep that up, Toph, You might end up hitting me.” Nathan said smirking. Toph laughed and gave Nat his bow back.
“Your turn Master Archer.” Toph said. Nathan took the bow and aimed at the dummy. He let loose his bow, the arrow shot out of the bow string with a whoosh and hit the target dead in the head. Nathan smiled, looking at his brother.
“Ok, I retrieve my last comment.” Toph said, pretending to be impressed. They continued on like that till the sun was about to set. They put down the dummy and sat together watching the sun set.
“I miss dad.” Toph said, right before the sun set beyond the horizon letting night take over the world.
“Me to……Me to.” Nathan murmured. They unrolled there blankets and set down. Toph fell asleep, but Nathan didn’t. He stayed up watching the stars. He thought about his mom and dad. How much he loved them and the day mom died took an impact on him. He fell asleep crying about them. He closed his eyes finally, letting the darkness take over.
Nathan woke up panting and sweating. His head hurt a lot. He thought he saw an elf. She was standing in a meadow, over the hill just north of the camp, holding a flower. She turned and looked at him. She smiled at him until a shadow passed over him. The elf’s face turned from happy to scared. Then he felt a throbbing pain in his head. The last thing he saw was the elf running away….and a large bat-bird shaped figure fly overhead.
Nat then woke up, same place as he was before. Hm….must of been a dream, he thought. He walked over to Toph, still unsure of what happened.
“Hey Toph, did you hear or see anything unusual last night?” Nathan said.
“No, I slept threw the night. Why do you ask?” He said.
“Oh nothing…” Nathan said. As if knowing his sense of unsureness in Nathan’s voice, Toph asked him what was wrong. But Nathan didn’t want to talk, so Toph didn’t press him for answers. Nathan Stalked over to the camp, looking over his shoulder to the meadow trying to see if anything seemed wrong in there. But he didn’t see anything so he concluded it was a dream. He started packing up his blankets and bag’s and cleaned up the camp. Toph could see Nathan’s over eagerly of cleaning the camp and again asked what was wrong. This time, Nathan knew that Toph could see something was wrong with him. So again he asked what was wrong, although, wanting answers know. Nathan told him about his “dream”, but Toph only laughed.
“Elf’s haven’t been seen in Mariesia for over 70 years. After the Elf and Dwarf War, the elf’s split up some going south, to the mountains, and the others north near the forest and rivers. The dwarf’s took the mantle at Blood Stone Mountains. They called the mountains Blood Stone because of there losses in the war. No one really could tell which side was the winner in the war. It must have been a draw because neither side gained any land. They both had a lot of soldiers, but the dwarfs lost the most soldiers. The elves, on the other hand, where winning until theirs leaders grew…selfish…and fought against each other for power. Sensing civil war, the elves broke off the war to bicker with there own problems.” Toph concluded.
“How do you know this?” Nathan asked.
“I remember dad telling me all the stories. He probably heard them from far travelers.” said Toph. Nathan didn’t really understand most of it but then he remembered the bat thing.
“I don’t have any idea what that could be. Probably a bird.”
“I don’t think birds have that immense size.” Nathan said.
“Ah…well it was only a dream. So don’t worry.” Toph finished. They started down the road. It was very worn down by the many wagons that must have been traveling on. Sate was to the eastern edge of Mariesia, but not on the coast. Close enough to get the climate, but not close enough to get the hurricanes. Sate didn’t’ have bad weather. Only rain. But on one occasion, Sate had very bad thunder storm. No one in the land had any idea were it came from. No towns ever heard of it. Only Sate. The storm brewed in the east, which was weird because the east wasn’t bordered by the sea’s or deserts. Just plains called the Lair. Lair to what, nobody knows. It was the name the elves gave it when they first arrived in Mariesia. They said it was home to the most deadly…monsters. But Nathan didn’t worry. They were in the east, so he had no reason to worry.
They had to be back in a week and a half for the Light Festival. The Light Festival is when all teens are about to turn 17 they have a traditional hunt. They must bring back a grey bear from the mountains above the town using only one arrow. Toph was already 17 and training for the hunt. Since you may only use a bow and knife, Nathan was training him with a bow.
After 2 hours, they finally made it half way to the forest, and stopped for the day. Nathan set up the target dummy again, but this time instead of it being stationary, he climbed a tree and strung a rope over a strong branch. Then he jumped down and tied it to the dummy. That way, Nathan could pull the rope and the target would move left or right.
Nathan didn’t need to train for the Light Festival because he was only 15 and, already, he had the best shot in Sate.
“Look down the shaft of the arrow.” Instructed Nathan, “Us the point where the bow and arrow meet as your target point.” Toph nodded and let loose the arrow. The arrow whizzed by and struck the target in the calf. Toph seemed pleased, but Nathan wasn’t.
“You’re not going to be able to kill a bear by shooting it in the leg. Sure it might slow it but you only have one shot, so use it wisely.” Nathan concluded.
“But I aimed at his head!” exclaimed Toph, obviously frustrated after 4 tries.
“You have to remember, an arrow does have weight. And the target is moving so aim high and lead the target in the direction it is going.” Nathan explained. Toph nodded again. Again he loosened an arrow. It hit dead in the head. Toph cheered and jumped up. Nathan smiled and laughed. The practiced that over and over, each time Toph hit the target, Nathan would move him back a few feet. By the end of the day, 4 arrows were broken and 9 were about to break. The stopped, for fear of losing to many arrows to hunt with. Then, when Nathan was about to sit down, Toph threw him a sword-like bamboo stick.
“Come, Master Archer, lets see your capability with a sword.” Said Toph. Before Nathan could say anything, Toph lunged at him. He lashed out at Nathans side. Nathan just had enough time to block it when Toph changed direction and hit him on the other side on his legs. As Nathan fell to the ground, Toph laughed at him. Nathan used this slight advantage and got up and struck out with his own sword, hitting Toph in the legs.
“Oh Master Swordsman, you should now not to let your guard down.” Nathan smirked.
Toph then jumped up, over Nathan, landing behind him. Nathan whirled around, but not in time. Toph struck him in his stomach, sending the air out of his lungs. Then Toph spun around and stabbed at the back of Nathans knee joint. This made his knees crumple and forcest Nathan into a kneel. Toph just stood there laughing.
“Ok, I retrieve my last comment.” Nathan said, dazed. After there duel, they put away there “swords” and started cooking dinner. They sat together eating on the log. After dinner they watched the sunset.
“Are you going to bed anytime soon?” Toph asked.
“Yea, in a minute.” Concluded Nathan. Toph fell asleep, right there at that very moment. How does he do that? Nathan thought. He stayed up again, watching the stars.
He fell asleep only to be waken up again by the sound of wind. He jolted up and grabbed the knife he had. He looked over the meadow and saw a tower. On the tower, he saw the dark silhouette of a person. Beside him another figure came up and drew his sword. The first one finally noticed and, what seemed to Nathan, a chuckle. He then drew his own sword, different as the seconds but in a big way. His sword glowed a dark red. Then Nathan could hear the clashes of battle. Just before the vision faded he saw two bat-bird like things fighting in the sky…
Nathan woke up, the same way he felt before. His head hurt like he’d been struck by lighting, and he felt cold, which was weird to him because it was warm outside. He looked over to where the tower would’ve been but it wasn’t there. Nathan became paranoid but didn’t want to bother Toph. They packed up their stuff and set off after breakfast. By mid day the finally reached it. They climbed up a hill that seemed to look over all the land in Sate’s area. Finally Toph said something, which Nathan didn’t catch because he was tired from his last “dream”. Nathan put his head back, but was tapped on the shoulder.
“Hey, Nat, we made it.” Toph said. Unsure what he meant, Nathan looked over to where Toph was looking at. There, in front of him, stood The Shalle Forest.

ok so that one sucked new and improved first page.
Chapter 1 The Beginning



Chapter 1 The Beginning



The sun just began rising in Sate, to the east. As it rose, the sky was filled with different shade of orange, purple, and blue. Sate was to the western edge of Mariesia, but not on the coast. Close enough to get the climate, but not close enough to get the hurricanes. Also since Sate woke up 4 hours before anyone else did, there trade and news of the land came early. Sate didn’t’ have bad weather, which was good. Only rain. But on one occasion, Sate had very bad thunder storm. No one in the land had any idea were it came from. No towns ever heard of it. Only Sate. The storm brewed in the Far East, which was weird because the Far East wasn’t bordered by the sea’s or deserts. Just plains called the Lair. Lair to what, nobody knows. It was the name the elves gave it when they first arrived in Mariesia. They said it was home to the most deadly…monsters. As the darkness retreated behind the mountains, lights came up from the houses. People stepped out of their houses, to start the day. Big banners were everywhere. The Light Festival was in today, so people were cheery. The Light Festival is when all teens are about to turn 17 they have a traditional hunt. They must bring back a grey bear from the mountains above the town using only one arrow. Nathan was already 17 and training for the hunt. Since you may only use a bow and knife, Matt was training him with a bow.
The sun light drained in Nathan’s window, awakening him. Nathan woke eagerly. Today’s the day, he thought. Nathan was medium height, about 6’0. He had darkish brown hair, and brown eyebrows. And his eyes were, you guessed it, brown to. He was also athletic, because of all the hunting him and his father did. He jumped out of bed and grabbed his bow and quiver. They were his most prized possession. His dad gave them to him at his death bed for his 17 birthday. Nathaniel ran down the stairs, expecting someone. When he got there he smelt the crisp smell of bacon and eggs. His two brothers were there, one sitting down eating, the other cooking over the stove. Nathan smiled. He and Matt were the only ones who could care for Toph now. Ever since mom and dad died, Toph turned to us for help. There deaths had a big impact on him. Matt turned around, smacking Toph in the head. Toph was pretty tall for 15.He was 5’7 and athletic. But a little chubby. Matt was the oldest in the family. He was 18 and about to get married. The funny thing was he had blonde hair. But he was very, very athletic.
“Well good morning sleeping beauty.” Toph said smiling.
Nathaniel laughed and sat next to him at the table.
“About time you got up Nathan. I thought the bear would die before you woke up.” Matt smirked.
“Very funny.” Nathan said.
Matt put down 3 eggs and 2 pieces’s of bacon in front of Nathan and watch him devour them.
“You ready Nat?” Matt said. Only his brothers could call him Nat.
“Ready as ever.” Nathan said.
“Well hurry up and we can get there in time.” Nathan ate his breakfast, enjoying the eggs more than the bacon. He loved things that came from nature. Everything but meat. His brothers teased him a lot about it.

wow! thats really good there both REALLY good! how much do you have written? i want to read it all! I dont think it moves all that terribly fast either just enough to get to know them did you write this or is it like a group effort I want more!!

i wrote this by myself but with help from yall. thnk u for the comment

ok so i need a song this is the best i got...


I watched as the land died

As it I did, I cryed

Until hope came from the sea

And filled our hearts with glee

Until the left and bid far well

And our land changed back to its original form

But they never came back

To help us ever again

And watch us die

new page 2 =]]]





Afterward, he sat down reading the news that came from the other side of the land. He waited patiently for Matt to finish his breakfast. Finally when they were done, he jumped up and grabbed his bow n quiver. He nocked an arrow in and strapped on the quiver.
Matt was less enthusiastic and slowly got up. Toph was already out the door. It was his first hunt. Nathan walked outside, welcoming the fresh air.
“I got to stop by the town today. It shouldn’t take long.” Matt said, as he was walking out the door.
“Oh come on Matt, you said that yesterday too. And that week the deer got away from us.” Toph said.
“Yes I know, but this time were hunting bears, not deer. You understand the precautions I have to take. I must do this.” Matt said. He was very cautious out stuff. Nathan jumped up, planning to make a run for it.
“No no Nathan, your coming with me.” Matt ordered
“Oh come on.” Nathan said.
“I need you with me so we can get what we need.” Matt concluded.
“Toph you stay in the house, or you can come with us.” Matt added.
“Im coming. Toph said. So they went off down the road. The road was already worn down, which was a good sign. There must be a record number of people today in in town… Nathan thought. The good thing was the town was only down the street so it didn’t take long to get there. As they entered the town, all kinds of pedals of flowers were on the ground. There was Velly, the oldest person in Sate, singing a song.

I watched as the land died

As it I did, I cryed

Until hope came from the sea

And filled our hearts with glee

Until the left and bid far well

And our land changed back to its original form

But they never came back

To help us ever again

And watch us die

It was very sad, because Velly walked back in her house, crying. I asked Matt what the song ment, but he didn’t have any idea either. We continued on to the town center. Sate wasn’t all that big. About as big as park. Most people lived outside the village gates. Only the rich folks lived inside, away from the elments. But Nathan chose the farm outside the gates, because he loved nature and its fury. He could stand outside and not get a cold. He could stand outside on a hot day and not get a fever. The elements didn’t bother him at all.

*rapt attention*

Shalle Forest. Nathan steped through the thick trees, and the smell of the forest enveloped him. Nathan indulged in it awhile, then swung his bow across his back. He moved swiftly and quietly throught the brush and branches.

Sry, this is all the farther i can get!!
i have to take my time with these things lol

peace out girl scoute

is it just me or does this story line seem a little too familiar.... hmm, lets think

peace out girl scoute

that is really good cerill(at least much better than i could do) even if it was too fast, u'll have time to add some stuff to it before/if u publish it. plus u'll get better as u get older so by the time ur the age of a normal author u will be REALLY REALLY good(unless u are the age of a normal age of an author now, about 25 or so i guess). but u are still really good now. i don't really have the time or patience to write a long chapter book . ah well, i guess i just won't be an author, i will have to stick to reading. anyway, keep the pages coming, they are really good. but ya, they are a bit familiar... and i don't think u will get the chance to ask CP for permission cause he is practically a god.... unless those sources of urs have to do with CP or his family or something....

ok i aheva had a weeks worht of writers block u guys need to come up with some ideas pu them in the sotry n lets see wat happens

When i wrote one of the chapters i said that nathenial shouted out for his parents. OOPS!!! I am sorta going to make it so he was crying out to his parents in heaven or something I DON"T KNOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nice going sparky o and ya, if matt killed toph or something then nat would be really mad and that would add some action to the story. i dunno... or u could add a 5 thousand year old djinni that's name begins with a 'b' and rhymes with artimaeus. i really would like some more bartimaeus books to read. i can't find any other books that compare. but if u did add bart(though i am sure u won't) than they would have to be really good or else i will find u and hurt u.... i think u should stick with the toph/matt idea. i can't think of anything else at the moment.

a djinn is a creature that is a little like a spirit. once Gingerale comes back she can explain it

is it like an evil god?

not all of them are mean/evil/cruel/rude you get it

oh..ty I understand my world just a little better now can someone post bookage im runnning ut of material

Do you mean like a good book to read or someone to write down more of there own books? If you chose option one read " Magician" and you will be reading for AGES there are so many books in the series it is not funny, otion two coming right up.




The water was a still, opaque blue. The lush forest surrounding the river reflected off the water, lapping up the sides of a long white boat. The only disturbance to the stillness was an oar rowing slowly, leaving small ripples to flow into nothingness. Sathon sat in the boat admiring Alexandria, not taking his eyes off her. While she was looking around at the forest, she noticed a shadow move, “It’s probably just a deer” she thought to herself. “Sathon, is your brother always so…… unpleasant?” He laughed at this, which also made Alexandria giggle. “He has been like that as long as I remember, but I think it was after mother died. Since then he has been so guarded, but apparently he has his eyes on someone. Hopefully she will change him, for the better.” They both chatted for a while longer when Alexandria became uneasy. “ Sathon, I think someone’s watching us, I have felt it for a while.” “ Me too darling, lets turn back.”